It has always been with you
by inthelaurels
Summary: So, the last half of New Moon never happened. Bella is still trying to move on three years after Edward left her, with Jacob's help. But her world is turned upside down when Edward shows up to her college graduation. Angsty Bella. Angsty Jacob.
1. Author's Note

That was the crappiest summary ever,  
Sorry.

I'm switching back and forth from this and my other story,  
"Bella's Different"

Ok, so I thought I need to explain somethings before you read this one.

Bella never jumped.

Edward never came back for Bella in New Moon.

I changed my mind. Jake_ is_ a werewolf.

Bella has not gotten over Edward.

And the relationship between Jake and Bella has not gone past friendship.

So now, go read!

Oh,

Idontownanythingit'sallstepheniemeyer's.

There, now that's over with.


	2. Graduate

Please read and review people!

Thanks.

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I stood in front of my full length mirror. I smoothed out my dark blue sun dress. I hadn't worn this color in years. I didn't like this color; it reminded me too much of _him_, of how he had once told me that liked it on me. But Charlie had bought it for me for this occasion, and it would have been rude to not wear it.

I felt the pain threatening to tear through my dead chest. I had trained myself to block out these memories, to avoid everything that reminded me of _him_. My music collection was minimal because I couldn't stand anything written about love. I hardly ever went to movies anymore, and I threw away my favorite Jane Austen books. I couldn't even wear the topaz ring my mother had gotten me for Christmas. It was all too painful.

I was on the edge. I had to pull myself together. Today was supposed to be a happy day, I was graduating.

After _he _left me, I did finish the year at Forks, but my grades did slip. I was a zombie; I felt no motivation in doing anything, let alone doing anything well. It was the worst year of my life. That was until Jake pulled me out of my funk. I owed all my happiness to that boy, even if he was a bit over enthusiastic sometimes. I felt normal around him, I felt happy with him. I wasn't completely healed. You can't heal when something is missing, but Jacob Black was my bandage which held me together. I smiled as I remembered I would get to see him today.

Today I was to be a graduate of Washington State College. I really didn't want to go to college after high school, but I knew I couldn't stay in Forks and live with my father my whole life, growing up to be a bitter old spinster. So I applied to Washington State, and luckily, even with my poor grades senior year, I managed to get in.

College was actually a good thing for me. I threw myself in my studies. It left me little time to think about anything besides school, which was always good. I tended to think about mythological creatures too much when I let my mind wander. I majored in English and minored in education, planning on becoming a high school English teacher. I didn't really have much time for friends, I met a few very nice people, but none in which would result in any lasting relationships. Jacob would come and visit me from time to time, I loved those weekends.

I was graduating a year earlier, since I was so 'goal oriented' as my advisor had put it. Charlie was so proud. He must have bragged about it to everyone in the little town of Forks, because I received tons of 'conGRADulations' cards in the mail. Renee and Phil were up for the occasion, they were also always telling me how proud they were of me.

I stared into the mirror, looking at my reflection, analyzing it. I really had not aged much in the past few years. I hadn't grown and I was always given suspicious looks when I was carded for drinks. I had lost a little weight; my appetite seemed to have waned a bit since he left me. I didn't have my personal alarm which always reminded me when it was the "human's time to eat". My face was pretty much the same; my lips were still full and my face still that heart shape. Though sometimes it looked dead, and it scared me. I never wanted to revisit my 'zombie days'.

I plastered a on smile. I had gotten quite good on making it believable, but I could never get the smile to reach my eyes. Jacob always told me that, he knew when I was faking. I studied my eyes; they never really gained their sparkle back.

I knew I wouldn't be whole anytime soon. I still needed more time. Time to forget. I needed to forget him, he had forgotten about me. He didn't love me, he didn't want me. I knew my hold on him was never strong enough. I wasn't good enough, and I knew this. But it didn't make it any easier. I hugged my sides, the pain was about to come.

The doorbell to my apartment rang. It brought me out of my stupor. I headed to the door and opened it and was swept up in a huge hug before I even could comprehend who it was.

"Bells!" Jacob's sweet voice rang out. He was quite a bit taller than me, and lifted me completely off the ground. His dark arms pressed me against him.

"Jake!" I gasped for air in his bone crushing hug.

"Don't suffocate her, Jake!" my father's voice came from behind him. He was chuckling, the eye crinkling smile spread across his face. Jake let go of me and I turned to hug Charlie.

"Congratulations, honey," he said, pride dripping from his voice. I led them into my single apartment. I told them to take a seat while I went to grab my cap and gown. I snatched up my black gown from my bed and quickly put it on and placed my matching black cap on my head, making sure the two tassels were in place. I glanced in the mirror again.

_This is how you're life is supposed to be_, I reminded myself. I headed back out to where Charlie and Jacob were, but was suddenly blinded by a bright light.

"Jake!" I grumbled, "No pictures until after!"

"But your face was so priceless at that moment," he laughed. I took a moment to examine Jake. His complexion was still very dark and his shaggy hair was tied back, the way I liked it. He had that silly grin on his face, his black eyes were bright. But I noticed I had to look up even further to see his face.

"My God, Jake, have you grown again?" I asked playfully. He laughed. His laugh was like prescription pain medication.

"We need to get going, Bella. You need to be there half an hour early and we need to get seats. Renee and Phil might already be there." Charlie reminded me, looking at his watch. I grabbed my purse and headed out the door.

We arrived at the stadium (**A/N: I have no idea where they graduate**). Jacob gave me another big hug before we parted.

"Don't trip," he laughed.

"Thanks for jinxing me," I faked scowled at him. Knowing me, though, I would fall flat on my face in front of thousands of people. I shuddered at the thought.

"Good luck, Bells," Charlie kissed my cheek before proceeding with Jake towards the visitors entrance to the stadium.

I turned and I headed to where all the other black gown clad people were headed. An older woman gave us instructions to line up and we all scrambled for our place in the line. I chatted with the few people I knew in line, until it was time to take our seats. We started to move out towards the crowd awaiting us, when something caught my eye.

I could have sworn I saw a man with _his_ bronze colored hair out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned, there was no one but a middle-aged, balding man waving to someone in the line.

_Now you're seeing things. Grrreaaat_. I thought to myself.

Graduation seemed to drag on forever. The speeches droned on. They were the same old ones about how we are now about to enter in the "real world", and how this is just the beginning of a "great journey". I laughed when everyone else laughed, and I nodded at the appropriate times, although my mind was elsewhere. My hallucination was threatening to rip through my carefully put up walls, bringing the pain with it.

_Pull yourself together, Bella_. I told myself. It would look odd if I suddenly burst into tears, but maybe everyone would just think I was overcome by the emotional speeches that were being made. Anyways, it would call attention to me, which I never liked.

I took deep breaths and calmed myself, and forced my self to listen to the bright and bubbly girl giving her speech.

Finally the handing out of the diplomas began. Having the last name Swan put me nearer to the end, so I sat and waited as I watched the smiling people walk across the stage to receive their diplomas, waving at their friends and family who burst into applause. After a while it was time for my row to get up and walk towards the stage.

"John Sutton," the announcer called out, and a burst of applause came from somewhere in the audience as the boy in front of me walked across the stage.

My stomach lurched, I hadn't been nervous until this moment. I told myself to be very careful on the steps and soon it would be all over.

"Isabella Swan," There was a loud whoop and cheering coming from somewhere to my left as I made my way up the stairs. I turned to wave and smile at my family when something caught my eye again, bronze hair. My heart stopped. I stared at the face in which I had pushed out of my mind so many times, a face I had longed to see for three and a half years. And it stared right back at me, smiling.

The brown stage floor swirled up before my face. I heard a thud and everything went black.

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Ha. Bella faints.


	3. Hallucination

Update Update!

Thank you guys for the reviews.

And thank you kelsey for proofreading it for me.

So this chapter is a bit out of character for Bella, I guess.  
I was tired of the 'Yay Edward's back!! Let's be togetha foreva!' Bella,  
that I have read in so many other fanfictions.

So,  
she reacts a bit different.

:P

So R&R!

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I opened my eyes. I was in a familiar white room, lying on an uncomfortable plastic bed. I was in the Nurse's Station. I had to visit this place plenty of times before, seeing that I was completely accident prone. No one was in the room with me at the moment, which struck me as odd.

The memory of what had happened flooded back, I moaned. Had I really fainted on stage in front of hundreds of people? My face burned red with embarrassment as I imagined the whole audience straining to look at the girl, who had just fainted on stage at her graduation, being carried off by someone from the staff. I wanted to melt into the bed, to hide from this humiliation. How was I going to explain fainting? 'Oh yes, I just thought I saw my ex boyfriend who I am hopelessly in love with in the audience. So, I fainted.' That sounded completely ridiculous. I would just blame it on not having breakfast this morning mixed with nerves and excitement.

I hid my face in the scratchy white pillow.

"I would rather you not hide your beautiful face," A soft melodic voice came from beside my bed. Oh God. Now my hallucinations were talking? How hard did I hit my head on that stage? I turned away from the voice, hoping my mind would stop playing these horrible tricks on me.

"Bella?" The soft voice was even more beautiful than I had imagined. Wait. I was imagining this. I rolled over, and opened my eyes. I gasped. His soft, boyish face still had its unnatural beauty. His bronze, messy hair fell into his eyes and he looked as if he was supposed to be posing for some fashion magazine, besides sitting by the bed of some plain jane girl he left three years ago. But his eyes were different. The bright golden pools were dull and dejected.

I grabbed my sides, the pain would come soon. My mind had pushed too far, and I would pay for these precious moments.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt? Why aren't you speaking?" his voice was panicked.

I laughed. But it wasn't my laugh; it was cold and cruel, unfamiliar on my lips. Hurt? Of course I was hurt. He of all people should know that.

"Well, I'll answer one of your questions. I'm sure I look rather silly talking to myself," the cold voice which did not belong to me escaped my lips. Edward looked confused. Then my meaning seemed to dawn on him.

"You don't think I am real," It wasn't a question it was a statement. I smiled, but it felt funny on my face.

"Of course you're not. You wouldn't _really_ come to see me. You're just a figment of my imagination," This seemed to trouble him deeply. He just stared at me, he looked frustrated and for some reason, hurt. His gaze made me uncomfortable.

"Stop it," I demanded.

"If I'm a figment of your imagination, then make me," A look of smugness passed on his face. Then he smiled that crooked smile, which I loved, but it was not the same as I had remembered. But nonetheless, I was dazzled and I hated it. I didn't want him to have this effect on me. I scowled at him.

My attitude towards Edward surprised me. Why was I being so hostile? I had imagined things so differently in my mind, if he came back to me. But in those dreams he had always wanted me. This dream was different. More like reality. He doesn't love me. He had left his scar on me, one that didn't heal.

"Where is my family?" I suddenly asked. The thought had crossed my mind that my family should be the ones sitting here with me. He looked at me sheepishly.

"They might have gotten lost on the way to the Nurse's Station," he wasn't looking at me anymore, but I understood what he was trying to cover.

"Who told them where it was?" I asked sternly. I sat up to look a little more intimidating, which was a laugh. Who can intimidate a vampire?

"Alice, she's good with disguises." He stated. Alice. She was here? But, why?

This was defiantly a dream. He couldn't _really_ be here.

"Bella," he breathed. He had done it again; my mind went completely to mush. I was dazzled. His intoxicating scent swirled around my head, he was so close. I longed to reach out to him, to touch him. My hand twitched to move towards him.

No!

I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't let this happen again. Even in my dreams I couldn't bear for him to leave me again. I had to protect myself from being hurt again.

"I-I'm engaged."

I had no idea what made me say this. I wished I could have crammed it back into my mouth as soon as it tumbled out of me.

I saw something flash across his face, but he hid it under a cool and collected mask. What was it? Pain? Why would that cause pain for him? He didn't love me. He didn't want me. Why would it matter if I was getting married?

Part of me took a vindictive pleasure in hurting him. Part of me wanted to rip my throat out for saying that, for causing him pain.

"Congratulations. May I inquire to whom?" his voice was unnaturally flat. His eyes flashed to my hands.

Crap. I didn't have a ring.

"Oh..uh..i-it's Jacob Black," It was the first name that popped into my mind, "And he's getting the ring cleaned."

It was a dumb excuse. I thought he would see right through it, but I had become quite good at lying over the years. I looked down at my hands, they were trembling. I pasted a fake smile on my face, hoping it looked real.

He opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, but shut it quickly. He seemed to be battling something in his mind. His eyes met mine and seemed to bore right through me, and I knew he must know I was lying, that I was completely pathetic. I was now expecting him to call me out on my lie.

"Bella,"

_Here it comes_.

"Are you truly happy?"

He caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting this question. I knew I should have said yes, if I were getting married, I should be happy. My head was telling me to say yes, but my throat seemed to close up as if it would not let me lie anymore. So I sat there, like an idiot, just staring at him.

A flicker of hope passed through his eyes. I wondered what question I had answered with my silence. But then he stiffened, he whipped his head around to the door.

"Bella?" It was Jake's voice.

"Bella?!" Charlie's angry voice rang out.

I glimpsed up at Edward, his eyes were back on me. I winced, the pain was coming, I had let my mind wander too far, and I would have to pay for it. The hole in my chest seemed to ripple around the edges, it was coming soon.

"Bella," Edward was whispering. Oh God, how I had missed his whisper, "Don't lock your window tonight,"

And he was gone.

And for the second time that day, I fainted.

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Ha. She fainted again. Oh Noz! Bella engaged?! Haha.


	4. Fiancee

Oh if you are wondering about Victoria…

She, um, died.

Somehow.

Hahahaha.

Well school is making it kinda hard to update quickly, but here's the next chapter.

Thank you again, Kelsey.

It's time for the disclaimer: I do not own these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be writing them on fanfiction..[no offense fanfiction, I love you

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"Bella, wake up" Someone was shaking me. I was hot and uncomfortable, crushed up against something burning.

"Should she be taken to the hospital?" My mother's voice broke through to me.

"Mom?" I asked groggily. I opened my eyes. I was still in the same room, but with vastly different company. Jacob was holding me up, and I understood the burning sensation, I could feel the heat of his skin through his shirt. Charlie looked worried and a bit agitated. He was pacing the tiny room. Renee jumped at my words; she was obviously shaken.

"Oh, Bella! Thank goodness!" She exclaimed and she knelt down next to me, "Honey, are you alright? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No Mom," I sighed, "I'm fine," 

I sat up and instantly felt dizzy, but tried to hide it by taking a couple of deep breaths.

"I just want to go home now," I said. I really did not want to be in this room any longer, I did not want to remember the dream. And I knew the pain would come soon, and I would much rather wallow in it in the privacy of my own place.

I stood, which wasn't such a great idea. The room started to spin and my knees threatened to give out on me. I reached out to grab a hold of something to steady me, and ended up grabbing Jacob's shirt, nearly tearing it.

"Sorry," I mumbled, a blush crept up my neck. Charlie and Renee told me to lie down again, but I refused to stay any longer.

"I'll carry her," Jacob volunteered. His voice startled me, it was strangely dark. But before I could protest, he had swept me up into his heated arms. I knew I wouldn't get out of his hold, so I pouted in his arms.

I looked up to glare at him, he knew I didn't like being treated like a baby, but was surprised to see an angry Jacob glaring at _me_. It confused me. I felt strangely exposed, as if he could see right through me, as if he knew what I dreamt. I forgot my embarrassment at being carried, and openly stared at Jacob, whose eyes were dark with fury. I could feel him shaking faintly. He had been able to control his werewolf side very well over the last couple of years, so his being on the edge frightened me.

"We need to talk," he whispered in my ear so only I could hear.

Phil picked up my mother and I went with Charlie and Jacob from the campus. Every two minutes back to my apartment, Charlie would ask how I was feeling, it was extremely annoying and after the third time, I stopped answering. Jake didn't say anything, just sat quietly in the passenger's seat, glaring at the road ahead of us. What was he so mad about?

We pulled up to my place and I fought away Jake's arms as he tried to lift me out of the car to bring me in.

"I'm fine, Jake!" I shouted, irritated. He just grunted and let me stumble out of the back of the car.

Phil and Renee arrived just seconds after us. We were supposed to go out to celebrate, but since my little fiasco on the stage, we gave our goodbyes early.

"Eat and get plenty of sleep. Be careful about getting too worked up." Renee scolded me after hugging me goodbye. This was funny, getting advice from her; usually it was the other way around. I waved to Phil from the doorway, and watched them drive off.

"Need me to stay?" Charlie was scrutinizing me, making sure I wouldn't pass out again as soon as he left.

"No, Dad. I'm fine now." I tried to sound reassuring. I cracked a smile, and also hugged him goodbye. I turned to Jake, to hug him also.

"Charlie, I'm going to stay around a bit." all traces of anger were gone from his voice as he coaxed Charlie into letting him stay. Charlie didn't need much coaxing.

"Sounds good. You take care of my little girl," He patted him on the shoulder. I winced at the term.

I made my way into my apartment, being careful not to look at Jake. I headed towards my room, and could feel him behind me the whole time. I plopped myself on the bed, trying to give him the impression that I needed sleep, so he would leave me alone.

It didn't work.

"Bella," the anger I had seen before was back into his eyes. I sighed.

"What's up, Jake?" I tried to make my voice light, but it came out a bit too high and squeaky. He sat in the chair next to my bed and folded his arms.

"It was him that you saw, him that made you faint, and he was in the nurse's station with you, that filthy bloodsucker," Loathing was dripping from every word.

Shock shot through my veins as he said this. He knew? No. It was a dream. Edward wasn't really there. It was all in my mind. I just stared at him numbly. What was he telling me?

"No," was all I could get out, and it was barely audible.

"You can't lie to me, Bella! I could smell his disgusting scent all around you," He sounded like a father scolding his daughter. But he misunderstood me, he thought I was denying it.

"It was a dream. It was all in my head," I knew it sounded insane, but I wasn't allowing myself to believe Edward was here.

Jacob looked confused, his dark eyes, studying mine. Something clicked in his mind, and his voice was cautious.

"No, Bella. It wasn't a dream,"

My stomach gave a nasty flip and the room seemed to go fussy. My breathing became shallow, and my arms went instinctively around my middle. Jacob leaned over the side of the bed and crushed me up against him, my tears leaked onto his shirt.

Jacob was not angry with me, he was angry at _them_, for what they did to me. He knew the reason why I wouldn't go to any romance movie, why I never listened to the radio anymore, why I had to grab my sides to hold myself together whenever something reminded me of him. Jacob had seen me at my worst, and knew the reason why.

"I won't let him hurt you again," Jacob let go of me and sat back in his chair, studying me. His face was caught between rage and sympathy, I could see he was shaking again.

I let out a weak laugh, remembering Edward's visit.

"I was the one who hurt him today," I winced as I remembered the lie I told him. Jacob looked confused, but also pleased. He hated them and didn't understand why I couldn't.

"Good," he said, "Can I ask how?" He was being careful, tiptoeing around those careful barriers I had put up after Edward left me.

I blushed deeply. How could I tell him what I told Edward? Eagerness and confusion was written all across Jake's dark features.

"I-I told him I was," I took a deep breath, "Engaged."

"Is that it?" he laughed, obviously expecting a bit more.

"No," I admitted. I fixed my eyes on the comforter, tracing the floral design with my finger.

"I told him I was engaged…" I stated again. I gathered my courage to finish the sentence. My voice was hardly above a whisper,

"To you,"  
His booming laugh filled my room, and I looked up to see him rocking with laughter. I blushed again and glared at him. He was laughing at me, laughing at how pathetic I was. Well, I couldn't argue, I was pathetic.

"That's wonderful!" he finally said. I looked up, puzzled. He smiled back at me.

"I'm confused," I said blankly, "why are you so happy?"

"Aren't you supposed to be happy when you are about to be married?" He started to hum the wedding march with a silly expression on his face.

Oh no. Did he think I was asking him to…No. He had to see why I did it. Jacob was always a little too enthusiastic with me, but he had to know this was ludicrous. Right?

"Jacob, I think you've got the wrong idea…" It was hard to do, to crush him, but I couldn't have him under this assumption.

"Oh, Bella," he chuckled, "Of course I know we aren't getting married, although I'm not opposed to the idea,"

"Jake!" My voice came out as a squeak. He was pushing this too far.

"No, I know. You said it to get back at the leech. I'm not getting any ideas" his tone sounded a bit deflated, but he still maintained his smile. 

"Ok," I said, suspicion evident in my voice.

"So, did you tell him anything else? Are you expecting now too?" his voice was light and cheery again.

"No, of course not!" I smacked his arm.

"Now, now young lady! Is that any way to treat your future husband?" he wiggled his finger at me. I smacked him harder.

I felt better. Jacob seemed to always make me feel better. A pang of guilt hit me as I stared at him. He deserved so much better. He deserved a girl who could love. I wish he would give up his fruitless attempts for my heart. My heart was gone.

It was still with Edward. All this time, I loved him and I knew that would never change. I hated that I loved him still. I hated that I couldn't get over him. I once heard time heals all wounds, but after 3 years, he still had a hold of me.

"So, do you want me to stay the night?" he asked, all joking gone from him. I gaped at him.

"On the couch, of course," he rolled his eyes at my expression.

I almost said yes, but then I remembered Edward's last words.

_Don't lock your window tonight_.

Would he really come? I doubted it, but if he did, it would be an all out brawl between Jake and Edward. Supposedly vampires and werewolves are mortal enemies, but that's not what they would be fighting about. Jake would fight for the pain he caused me, and Edward would defend himself. I knew I couldn't bear either getting hurt.

"Uh, no," I replied, "I'll be fine." 

"You sure?" I could tell he was calling my bluff.

"Yes, Jake. I'm not a five year old! I'm fine!" I huffed.

"What if he comes back?"

"He won't," My hopes, which I didn't even know I had, were deflated as soon I said this because I knew it was true. He wouldn't come.

"I could keep watch around the complex," he offered. A picture popped up into my head of a giant wolf walking around the parking lot of an apartment complex. I stifled a giggle.

"No, go home. I'll be all right" I stood to walk him to the front door.

"Oh, Jake?" I asked, suddenly realizing something.

"Yeah?" He said getting up to leave.

"Keep your thoughts protected. Just incase he is still around. Don't think about that thing," I couldn't even say the word.

"What thing?" He smiled; he wanted me to say it. I glared at him.

"You know what!" 

"I'm sorry, I don't," he played the innocent act very well.

"Our engagement," I finally whispered.

"I'm sorry?" he cupped his hand around his ear, "What was that?"

"Don't push your luck, Jake"

I had to practically push Jacob out my door and its not easy to push a 6'7" boy anywhere. He made me promise I'd call if anything happened, but I knew nothing would.

I went back into my room and walked over to the window. I pushed the white latch to the unlock position. I turned away, determined not to watch for him, and plopped down on my bed. Tears leaked from my eyes and poured down my cheeks and onto my pillow. This wouldn't be the first time I cried myself to sleep. 

"You're pathetic, Bella. He won't come." I told myself out loud.

"You're wrong," A soft voice came from behind me.

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AH! WHO COULD IT BE?!


	5. Reunion

Here's the next chapter!

Bella goes through a lot of emotions in this chapter.

I changed the name, if you haven't noticed.

This one will make so much more sense at the end of this chapter.

Yayz.

So,

Read

&

Review.

EDIT:: I added a little more anger. Muahahahaha.

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"_You're wrong," A soft voice came from behind me._

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to make the voice disappear. Sobs ripped through my chest as I tried to clear my mind of him.

"Bella? What's wrong?" The voice didn't go away. The question had stopped my loud sobbing, but tears still ran continually down my cheeks as I turned.

He _was_ there. He looked as glorious as ever, but his expression was of the utmost concern. My brown eyes met his golden eyes. A strange heat flowed through my body as my stare turned into a glare.

"What's _wrong_?" The cold voice from earlier can back at full force, the heat now rushed through my veins as I stood.

"You _must_ be kidding me! You all of the sudden show up after three years after throwing me away like a piece of trash and you're asking me what's _wrong_?!" I aimed my words like daggers and surprisingly he looked as if they cut him. He took a step closer to me.

"Bella, listen to me," he pleaded. The monster inside of me roared.

"I've already heard what you've had to say! I remember everything despite my fallible _human_ memory! I was just a distraction, nothing to you. You never wanted me," I fell back onto the bed, doubling over with pain that the memory had brought with it.

I was going to pieces. Part of me was shouting for more, wanting him to know what he put me through. Even if he didn't care about me anymore, I wanted him to know. The other part of me screamed in protest. I hated myself for doing this to him. I was being a monster. The war waged inside of me as I looked up at him again.

His face was hidden in his hands. The turmoil going on inside of him was almost tangible. My arms yearned to reach out and comfort him. I balled my fists and held them against my chest. He raised his head. His expression was so pained, that it brought me physical pain to look at him. He stepped closer to me, gauging my expression, and then he was at my bed, kneeling beside it. My anger flared again.

"Why did you come back, Edward? To see me go to pieces once again over you? Well, you succeeded! I fainted onstage at my college graduation, can't get any better than that," The words stung my throat, but brought a strange pleasure as he winced at them.

"I never…wanted to…" He tried to explain, but my tongue seemed to be lashing out on its own accord.

"But you did," I spat.

"I know," he conceded. He looked at the floor, as a child would do when he knew he had been caught doing something wrong.

Why wasn't he fighting back?

"I never got to say goodbye! I loved them too, you know," I had been deluded that his family had loved me back, but they left without a single word to me.

He just sat there, nodding, taking everything I was throwing at him. I was shaking, I was so angry. I wanted him to respond to me! I wanted him to yell at me, so I didn't feel so horrible for yelling at him.

"I hated what you did to me!" The words flung out of me before I even realized what I was saying. Edward fell back on his hands as if I had hit him.

"I deserve this," his velvety voice broke.

This statement shattered me.

I sobbed into my hands. Then the other part of me took over. I was an awful person. Self loathing replaced the heat which had flowed through me. How could I do this to him? I wasn't being fair. He couldn't help that he didn't love me the way I loved him.

"No," My own voice had finally returned, instead of the cruel cold one. "Edward, you don't deserve this. I know why you left me. I never deserved someone as perfect as you. It never made sense that you loved me (**Ha. Stolen line**). I desperately and selfishly held on to you. I'm a monster for being angry at you" My voice had reduced to a whisper.

These words evoked something in him that took me by surprise. Anger- no, it was more than that. It was hatred. I flinched at his furious eyes.

"Bella. Don't. Ever. Say. That." He seemed to be having trouble getting words out. I could feel my brow furrow in confusion. What had I said? I knew why he would be mad at me for what I had said earlier, but I didn't understand why he didn't like the truth.

"You are and will always be better than me. Bella, you are an angel. I was the one who didn't deserve you. _I_ am the horrible awful monster here, not you, never you," he once again buried his head in his hands. I instinctively reached out for him, he flinched at my touch. I drew back.

"Edward, its okay, I understand. You are _not_ a monster just because you didn't love me back." I wanted him to feel better, even if it meant more pain for me. Edward lifted his head and straightened up to where he was eye to eye with me. I couldn't read his expression.

"I lied, Bella," Even though I knew he was lying when he had said I was the better one, that he didn't deserve me, these words still cut. I turned my face away from him as new tears threatened to spill over on my cheeks. I didn't want him to feel the guilt he was obviously feeling. That was the only thing that made sense, the reason he came back. He felt guilty because I loved him so desperately and he hadn't felt the same. Well, I couldn't let him bear that guilt any longer.

"I know," I rid my voice of any emotion.

"No, you don't," his voice was stern. His cold hand reached up and touched my cheek. His touch was better than any memory, all of the pain that would ensue after he left would be worth it, just for that moment.

"Bella, I lied," he repeated, "I told you the darkest, most detestable lie that day in the forest. When I told you I didn't love you, it was the farthest thing from the truth. I wanted to rip my throat out for saying something so untrue, and for hurting you. Bella, I have always loved and wanted you. Always," he finished and searched my face for some reaction. I was confused. I had lived for so long believing he didn't love me, so his words might have as well been in a different language, because I didn't comprehend. He took my confused expression as a question.

"I did it because I wanted to protect you. You deserve a normal, human life. The one you should have had before I ever came into your life. I was selfish for leading you into my life of darkness, you deserve so much more. You were always in danger when you were with me. I thought if you thought I didn't love you, you would move on. Looks like you did. You're engaged now," he forced a smile of congratulations, but his eyes were too sad.

My brain worked furiously as I tried to figure out what he was telling me. I wondered if it had anything to do with Jacob.

"Have you met Jacob?" my question took him by surprise, he frowned.

"I haven't had the pleasure of actually meeting him," I could hear the edge in his voice.

"Then you don't know he's a werewolf?" I thought maybe he was trying to break up this imaginary engagement because of the feud between vampires and werewolves. It was a long shot, but I wasn't going to actually believe what he was telling me was true.

"Then that's why your room smells so bad," he wrinkled his nose, but then something sunk in,

"Wait, he's a werewolf?!" he was angry. Well, there goes my theory.

"Bella, you don't know how dangerous those dogs can be!" he seemed to be pleading with me, disgust dripping from his words. I raked my brain for another explanation, but could come up with nothing.

"Jake would never hurt me, just as you never hurt me," I said resentfully,

"_Physically_, that is,"

He winced at the words. He looked away from me.

"He better be an amazing man to deserve _your_ heart,"

Anger bubbled in my stomach. How dare he say anything against Jacob. He did not know him and how wonderful and sweet and caring he was. But what angered me most was how stupid could he be to believe that I could actually give my heart to anyone but him.

"Jacob Black is an extraordinary man," I said through gritted teeth. Edward sighed in defeat, which made me livid. How could he be so dumb?!

I didn't care anymore if he thought I was pathetic for making up this whole engagement. I didn't care if he really saw me, really saw how much I still cared for him. I wasn't letting him leave under this ridiculous impression.

"But Jacob Black does not have my heart," The heat had returned now, pushing me forward. Edward's head snapped up at my words.

"How can you be so stupid, Edward? How the _hell_ could Jacob have my heart when it has always been with you!?" I didn't even realize I was shouting until after, when there was complete silence.

Edward gaped at me in disbelief.

"You're not engaged?"

I shook my head.

Then his eyes lit up when he saw my response. In a movement too fast for my eyes, he was next to me, pulling me to him.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," He said into my hair. I sighed, he was feeling guilty again.

"Edward, stop," I didn't want to leave his arms, but I couldn't let this go on. He let go of me, looking hurt.

"I can't let you keep doing this," I lowered my eyes, so my will wouldn't falter, "I know you feel guilty for not loving me, but I don't want you to have to lie and pretend you love me. It's not fair to you. And I can't live knowing you are doing this out of guilt" My eyes were still plastered to the bed. He took my face into his hands, forcing me to look at him. He eyes bore into mine.

"Isabella Marie Swan, how can you so easily believe the lies, but not the truth? Of course I feel guilty. I am an awful creature for ever hurting someone as pure as you. But I am not pretending. What can I do to get through to you that I truly love you?" I wanted so badly to believe him.

"I was miserable without you and completely worthless. Not a minute went by without you're beautiful face haunting my mind. I was in a bottomless hole without you, submerged in darkness, because my light was gone. My family couldn't be around me, It was too hard for them to see me in so much pain. I finally couldn't bear it any longer, so I went to your home in Forks. I overheard Charlie telling someone about your graduation, and I immediately made plans to go. I needed to see you so badly; I needed to know if you had moved on like I had hoped. When you fainted on stage at the sight of me, I couldn't help but go to you. But you didn't believe I was really there, and then I could see how much I had hurt you. But you threw me for a loop with your engagement, and I was consumed with jealousy. I couldn't let you get married without you knowing that I had lied that horrible day in the forest. I am a selfish creature, I wanted you so badly even though you weren't mine anymore,"

It took me a while for all of this to sink in. I tried to rationalize this speech.

"Don't fight it, Bella. Try to believe," he read me so easily, "I love you,"

And for the first time tonight,

I believed him.

His voice rang with complete sincerity, and I stopped trying to push the pieces of this puzzle into places they didn't fit. I just let them fall, and it all seemed to make sense.

Edward's shining eyes knew I had finally believed him, but they still looked troubled.

"I know you hate me, but I had to let you know," He had misunderstood my words earlier.

"I never hated you,"

"But-"I placed my finger on his lips to silence him.

"I hated what I had become after you. I hated that I couldn't move on. You were the best thing in my life. I could never bring myself to hate you, even when you took yourself away from me," His eyes reflected the love I felt at that moment.

"Bella, you are the most loving and wonderful person in this world. Can you ever forgive me?"

I responded to his question by positioning myself against his cold, hard body and eagerly pressing my warm lips to his cold ones. He stiffened, surprised by my response, but his lips began to move just as eagerly against mine. My arms encircled his neck and he pulled me even closer to him.

Happiness flooded my body and it was if all the pain and heartache over the last three years had disappeared completely. I was whole again. As I kissed him and he kissed me back, I knew what heaven must be like, for I was with an angel.

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Bleeeb. I hope Bella's reaction wasn't too "omgz yay ill take you back, whateva". But, duh. Of course they would be together. I'm not really sure where I'm going from here…

Should I stop soon? Or have a Cullen reunion? And Jake's gotta have something, right?

Wow, this is the longest end thing ever.


	6. Another Author's Note

So,

First I wanted to thank all my lovely readers!

All of your reviews make me smile!

I'm amazed how popular this story is.

Meep.

Buuuuuut,

I just thought I'd warn you that I might be slowing down a bit

(not stopping, though!)

First of all, School started…and I should probably do my school work.

Haha. (I wrote the last chapter instead of doing my English projects)

Second of all, I'm having trouble thinking of the rest of the story line.

I am going to have the Cullens (I love Alice and Emmett oh so much)

And Jake will make another appearance (sigh. Marry me Jake?)

So don't worry!

I just gotta actually finish something I've started…

(meep…I've got another story that's also not complete…)

But,

Don't abandon me!

I will keep writing.

[oh, and if you haven't read my revisions in the last chapter…I've added more Bella anger. Rawrrr


	7. Medicine

I am updating!

Hooray!

So,

Here's the next chapter.

Mainly fluff…

Enjoy!

R&R, puhlease.

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Memories came flooding back as I lay in Edward's arms, they were always there, but tucked away in some dark corner of my mind. I was blissfully happy, but still not fully believing he was here. I allowed myself just to be, instead of thinking of why this couldn't actually be happening.

I sighed, contented.

"Sleep, Bella," His breath tickled my ear. I shook my head. I didn't want to miss a single minute of this. If he left again… I stopped my thought there. I wouldn't know what I would do if he left, or what would be left of _me_. I shuddered at the thought. In response, Edward's arms tightened around me.

"What are you thinking?" Even in a whisper, his voice sounded like music. I remained silent. He sighed.

"You would think I would be used to not hearing your thoughts by now, but it is still completely frustrating," I snuggled against his stone chest. It was like snuggling up with a rock, but it was the only place I wanted to be.

Then he began to hum my lullaby.

I could feel my heart flutter in my chest. I ran my hand across my collarbone and I felt the rhythm of my heartbeat. It was a strange feeling to have my heart back after it had been missing for so long.

I realized how flawed my memory was as he sang. It was almost like the first time I had heard the beautiful lullaby, just with a foggy memory of the tune. The lullaby began to take its effect and my eyelids drooped without my permission and before I knew it, I was somewhere else.

---------

The light from the window awoke me, but I kept my eyes closed trying to cling desperately to my dream. I just wanted to sleep, dreams were so much better than reality. I could still see his face perfectly in my mind, and the lullaby was still fresh. I rolled over, trying to get comfortable enough to fall back asleep, but I rolled onto something hard. I tried to shove it away, but it took on a life of its own and stroked my face.

Wait_, what?_

My eyes shot open and I was greeted by an angel's face. I gasped and made a sudden movement of surprise, which, of course, knocked me off the bed. Before I could hit the cold hard wooden floor, I was back on the bed in an instant, cradled by cold arms.

"I'm sorry I scared you," Edward chuckled. My response was just to openly gawk at him. This dream was so realistic, I could even smell him! Edward's expression went from slightly amused to confused.

"Bella?" He shook me slightly, to bring me out of my apparent stupor. Then understanding flashed in his eyes.

"Bella, you're awake," His tone was serious. I shook my head.

"I know I'm still asleep, but it doesn't matter, I'll take it." I shrugged and pulled myself closer to him. I was going to milk this dream out of all it had. He went stiff against me.

"No, Bella," he shifted to where we were eye to eye, "You are awake and I am here with you," he searched my face as he said this.

I shrugged. He sighed.

"Bella, your imagination isn't this vivid," He pressed his hand against my cheek so I could feel the coldness of his skin.

"True," I admitted, "But I might have hit my head harder than I thought on that stage,"

"Bella…"" frustration was evident in his voice, "I guess only time will prove it," his last statement seemed more to himself than to me.

Time, I liked that word.

I nestled into his arms; I could stay in this moment forever. My stomach, however, didn't agree. It let out a loud rumble.

"Time for breakfast," Edward laughed and swept me up and headed toward the kitchen. He set me down, and I wobbled a bit and grabbed the counter for balance.

"I see your balance hasn't changed," he chuckled. I playfully hit him, but managed to bruise my own hand in the process. I turned to grab a box of cereal out of the pantry and when I turned back to the table, a bowl, spoon, and the milk jug were already waiting for me. Edward sat comfortably in one of the chairs, smiling.

"Show off" I muttered, he laughed. How I had missed that laugh. I poured my cereal and milk and began to eat. I suddenly remembered my medicine and jumped up to retrieve it from the cupboard. I emptied a caplet into my hand and reached for a glass in which I filled with tap water. I gulped down my pill and turned to put the prescription bottle back, but it was not where I had set it a second ago.

"Bella?" Edward's voice came from directly behind me. I turned to see him studding the orange bottle.

"Why are you taking these?"

I froze. I hadn't even thought about what they were, they had become such a part of my routine that I didn't even think about it.

"They are...uh…anti-depressants," I lowered my eyes to the label which had my name printed boldly across it.

"I know what they _are_, but why are _you _taking them?"

I felt as if I was a teenager caught with drugs stuffed under my mattress.

I didn't want Edward to know what I had become after he had left. That Charlie had to force me to see a psychiatrist and the doctor had to put me on meds. Those were very dark times. I was nothing but an empty shell, completely lifeless. I was now embarrassed by my behavior.

"I…need…them," I still wouldn't look up to meet his eyes. I had once tried to go off of them, but it sent me into another steep downward spiral. The medicine helped numb the pain.

Edward crushed me up against him in a fierce embrace.

"What have I done to you?" His voice was full of self-loathing. He was blaming himself.

"No, Edward. It was me. Not you," My voice was stronger now.

"If I had not done such a terrible thing to you…If I had never come into your life…you wouldn't be hurting," His arms loosened around me. He was going to leave me again, I knew it.

"No!" I squeaked. I grabbed his shirt and held myself against him. Tears came streaming down my cheeks and my breathing became uneven. I tried to hold on to him, but my hold was not strong enough.

"Please don't leave me," My words were slurred by my crying.

Edward broke my grasp on his shirt and I knew he would be leaving now. My knees buckled beneath me and I fell to the tiled floor of my kitchen. I closed my eyes. I couldn't watch him walk away again.

I felt two cold hands cradle my face, a soft caress on my cheek, wiping away my tears. I opened my eyes. Edward was on the floor with me, his face just inches away from mine.

"I won't ever leave you again," his eyes flashed, "Bella, I won't ever make you hurt like that again. I want you to be happy. So I _will_ stay,"

His words didn't comfort me as they should. He was only staying with me because I was pathetic.

"B-but I want you to be happy too," my tears were still flowing, "I won't make you stay. You need to be happy too," A sharp pain ripped through my chest as I said this.

"Bella, you are _absurd_," His response surprised me. My eyes searched his for his meaning. He smiled.

"There is no happiness without you," he stated simply.

My body seemed to be working on its own accord as I flung myself at him. My lips greedily found his and again it felt as if time stopped. My head went fuzzy and the world around me seemed hazy. Edward broke apart, smiling.

"Breathe, Bella," I did as instructed. I leaned in again hoping to continue, but his body stiffened and his head whipped around towards the direction of the front door.

_CRASH_.

I jumped about five feet into the air.

_What the hell was that? _

Edward pulled me up off the floor and stepped in front of me in a protective stance. I looked through the open part of my wall that separated the living room and the kitchen and saw my front door was off its hinges and laying in my living room.

A large dark figure made its way towards the kitchen and Edward emitted a low growl. When I caught sight of who it was, I was angry.

"JACOB BLACK!" I yelled, stepping out from behind Edward, "YOU _BROKE_ MY FRONT DOOR! YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY FOR IT MISTER!"

I glared at Jacob when I noticed the shaking. He was shaking so hard, I was sure he would transform any second. His face was contorted with fury, and his black eyes were terrifying. I took a step back.

He took a step forward.

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Jaaacoobb, bad wolfie.


	8. Leech meets Dog

Well,

It's been awhile!

But I'm updating!  
YAY!

And I think I might have changed my mind again about the Jacob/Bella relationship.  
It will probably turn out a lot more like the way she feels in Eclipse.

But I don't know.

SUSPENSE!

Ha, I reread this story.  
The beginning is so crappy.  
Sorry.

This chapter is better. I proofread it like five bazillion times! I never proofread!

But there are still plenty of mistakes…

Ah, oh well!

READ!

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"Jacob," My voice quivered. I stared in disbelief at the boy in front of me. This was not my Jacob. This strange boy looked positively _murderous_.

"How could you, Bella?!" His voice was low, but his words hit me as if they had been shouted. I flinched, guilt flooding through me. His eyes seemed to bore right through me, pain was clearly evident in the black orbs.

My arms yearned to reach out to him, as they had done so many times before. I hated causing him pain. He had soothed my pain over the years, and here I was hurting him in return. Tears were threatening to spill over as I watched my best friend glare at me.

"Keep yourself under control, Jacob Black," Edward's voice was smooth and his expression unreadable, but he moved in front of me in a protective stance.

"You will hurt her if you phase," Edward spoke the truth. Jacob had always told me how important it was for him to say in control. But having Edward say it just seemed to anger him more. A strangled growl erupted from him.

"_I_ WOULD NEVER HURT HER!" The inflection in his voice was clear. Edward stiffened, but showed nothing on his face.

This wasn't good. Vampires and werewolves didn't mix. Although Edward and Jacob had never properly met, they were already enemies because of what they were. And adding me into the mix made things immensely more complicated.

I had to somehow make this right.

I moved out from behind Edward and toward Jacob. I wanted to do something to calm him, but he was no longer looking at me. His eyes were fastened upon Edward, a smile pulling at the sides of his mouth. The smile scared me; it was not Jacob's usual light and warm smile. It was vindictive.

My eyes flew to Edward. His face was screwed up into an expression of anguish as if someone was causing him physical pain. My head snapped to Jacob again, he seemed to be getting some sort of sick pleasure out of Edward'expression. I realized a little too late what was going on.

"Stop it!" I screamed. Jacob was obviously thinking something so awful that it was causing Edward pain.

"STOP THINKING WHATEVER YOU'RE THINKING!" I stomped up to Jacob, fully intent on hitting him, but his eyes flashed down to me.

Suddenly I was looking at my Jacob again. The disturbing smile was gone, and a look of complete sadness replaced it. My arms which had previously wanted to hit him reached out and clung to him instead.

"J-J-Jake. I-I'm so s-sorry," I blubbered. The flood gates were unleashed and my tears leaked onto Jacob's bare chest. He put his arms around me, comforting me.

"She would have been fine if you had never come back," Jacob growled at Edward. His arms tightened around me, claiming me," She would have healed,"

I waited for Edward's response, still in Jacob's grasp. I waited for him to prove him wrong. I wanted it, but I didn't at the same time. I wanted him to fight for me, but I didn't want him to fight with Jacob.

"I know," Edward admitted, "It was a selfish move. I shouldn't have come back," Edward's words surprised me. My head whipped around, terror ripping through me. He was still looking at Jacob, not me. His expression almost looked defeated. Heat started to flow through me once again. After everything, he was still trying to save me from something I didn't need saving from.

"No," my voice was suddenly even, despite my tears. I pushed Jacob away and turned towards Edward.

"You do not get to decide what is better for me," My voice rose as I continued, "I will not let you leave if it is about another insane idea that I would be better off!" I was now yelling, "Why can't I decide what is better for me?! It's my own _damn_ life!"

Edward's eyes were wide, I never cursed. And aside from my little incident last night, I rarely even raised my voice. Maybe my sad life made me bitter, or maybe I was just tired of people trying to make decisions for me.

"And you," I turned on Jacob, "You don't get to decide either! You can't know if I would have been fine or not! It had been three years and I still could not hear his name without flinching! How the hell did you think I would heal?"

I hissed in frustration and spun on my heel and stalked out of the kitchen. My mind was so clouded with fury I was not even sure what or where I was going. I headed through the broken doorway and before I knew it I was in my truck. [**A/N: Bleh. Whatever. I know her truck would have died by now, but it's just not Bella without her truck. **I pulled my keys out of my jeans and tried to put them in the ignition, but my hand was shaking too hard. I screamed at my steering wheel. I cursed myself. I hated the way I was acting, I felt like a child throwing a temper tantrum. But I was so angry with them both.

I hardly noticed my keys cutting into my hand, blood oozing out of my closed hand. But I did notice when a white hand gently took my keys out of my hand. I didn't need to look over to know who it was.

My rage ebbed away, leaving me with a completely empty feeling. I slumped against my steering wheel.

The driver's door opened slowly and I could feel myself being pulled out of the car by a pair of warm arms. I didn't even complain. I just sat in his arms, like a rag doll.

I didn't even remember being in my bed before I fell asleep.

---------------

I woke up disoriented and groggy. I shut my eyes from the sun shining too brightly through my window. Memories and nightmares were swirling around in my head, and I couldn't distinguish which were reality and which were dreams. They all centered around Edward and Jacob. Edward_ or _Jacob. That seemed to be the choice. I made me sick just thinking about it. I pushed it to the back of my mind, knowing full well it would haunt me.

I opened my eyes again and stretched, balling my hands into fists. I winced as my fingernails dug into a tender spot and looked down at my hand. My keys had left an impressive cut on my palm, dried blood covered my hand.

"That needs to be cleaned and bandaged," Edward's velvety voice startled me. I whipped my head around to the chair in the corner, where Edward sat. He looked worried and a bit anxious. I nodded, but didn't move.

"Where's Jacob?" I asked, wondering if he was still here.

"He left. Said something about 'knowing you would choose the leech over him,'" My stomach twisted with guilt. I had no idea what I would do about Jacob.

I watched Edward again. There was something odd about him, I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something defiantly wrong. I suddenly realized what it was, his chest wasn't rising or falling. He wasn't breathing. I looked down at my hand and gasped.

"I'm sorry!" I quickly flipped my comforter up to cover it.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid. _I thought to myself. I was sitting in a room with a vampire with a bloody hand just out in the open.

He smiled gently.

"I don't think that will help much," he motioned to my comforter. He stood to move towards me, "But you don't have to worry about _that_ side of my nature, I'm under control." He kneeled beside my bed and took my hand out from its hiding place and examined it. I withdrew it.

"I still don't want to make things harder for you," He frowned slightly at this.

"Still putting others before yourself, I see,"

I scoffed, "It isn't as if I am performing an act of great selflessness. And it seems you're just as masochistic as you've ever been,"

He chuckled and handed me my first aid kit beside my bed. I began to disinfect my cut, and I felt his intense eyes on me the whole time. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze, wondering what he thought of my outburst, or if he was still feeling guilty about returning. I took about twice as long as it usually takes to bandage a small wound, but I was putting off whatever was coming next as long as I could. I knew we would have to discuss what happened, but I was scared.

"Bella?" I finally met his gaze after smoothing out my economy sized Band-Aid for the 3rd time. His eyes reflected the fear I felt. Maybe he was scared he would set me off again. I had to apologize for the awful way I had been acting lately.

"Edward, I'm so sorry," My eyes drifted back to my bandage, "I shouldn't have reacted like that. It was stupid and childish and," Edward placed his cold finger on my lips to stop me. I blinked.

"Bella, you were right." I blinked again.

"You need to decide for yourself." He sighed, "I just don't want you hurting anymore. I want to protect you, even if it is from myself," I stared at his beautiful face, stunned by his confession. I reached out to touch his wintry cheek.

"That's just it. I don't need to be protected from you. I need _you_, Edward. It terrifies me that you'll leave again because for some ridiculous reason you think it would be better for me. I can tell you it wouldn't. I love you, Edward. I always have and always will," Before I could say anymore, I was in Edward's arms faster than I could blink. I clung to him, craving his closeness.

"Bella, I don't deserve you. You're an angel and I'm a monster. I could die a thousand deaths before seeing you as lifeless as you were that day on the forest floor, knowing that I caused you to be that way. I'm so sorry," He whispered into my ear as he cradled me. But something struck me as odd. I pulled back so I could see his face.

"Wait…when did you see me on the forest floor?" Edward hadn't been there. It was Sam Uley who had found me that day, curled up on the forest floor muttering and sobbing. It was the day he had left.

Edward frowned and looked away.

"It seems werewolves have very vivid memories,"

I immediately remembered Edward's expression when Jacob had been maliciously directing his thoughts at him. I gaped in horror. I knew that werewolves could read each others thoughts. It seemed they also shared memories.

"He…didn't," I whispered. When had my Jacob become so malevolent? I stiffened as I remembered Jacob's menacing smile. Edward read my expression.

"I deserved it, Bella," his expression showed no harshness towards Jacob. I could tell he was furious with himself, blaming himself for my actions.

"Please stop blaming yourself," I pleaded, "I forgive you, I forgive everything. I can't stand you being so hard on yourself."

Edward sighed. It would not be easy for him to forgive himself. He always put the blame n himself when it came to me. So, I tried to approach it in a different way.

"Just promise me," I took his face in my hands, leaning towards him so we were only inches apart, "You won't ever do it again,"

His eyes were intense as he replied,

"I promise,"

He closed the gap between us and everything in the world just melted away. His cold lips moved with mine and I could feel myself losing control. My hands seemed to move on their own accord and became entangled in his hair. I was pushing his boundaries, going too far, but I couldn't help it. My breathing went shallow and my heartbeat raced. I sighed against his mouth. He stiffened.

Yep. Went too far.

"Bella," he broke away from my grasp. He smiled as a blush spread across my face.

"What am I going to do with you?" He chuckled.

"Well, for one thing, you could stop hogging her all to yourself!" A voice came from my doorway. I jumped, startled by the sudden guest.

Edward, on the other hand, didn't look surprised at all.

"Hello, Alice,"

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YAY! Alice!


End file.
